I'm not busy.

I’m busy. Are you busy? Life is hectic, crazy, full. We all say it, we all think it, we all excuse ourselves because of it.

“How are you?” “Oh, I’m so busy!”

Can I just say something? I hate that. I say it, too—but I hate it. And here’s why: I want to be fully alive. To live abundantly. And defining my life, my well-being, my current status by my schedule? It’s stifling. Yes, my days are full. Yes, I’ve been working overtime and calling coworkers late at night and waking up in the middle of the night with To Do lists in my head. But you know what? That doesn’t set me apart. That doesn’t earn me a medal, it doesn’t merit pity, it’s not an excuse to complain to any willing ear. My friend with two young kids and a husband out of town is busy. The other with big assignments due every other day is busy. The other with a long commute and a second job on the side is busy. To say you’re busy has nearly the same effect as saying you’re breathing.

We’re all busy, and none of us are busy. I would venture a guess that the vast majority of the ways we fill our time fall in one of two categories: things that we signed up for, should expect, ought to take responsibility for without complaint; and things that we should have said “no” to in the first place. This isn’t to say we should turn a deaf ear to the sufferings of friends that feel crushed under the weight of an oppressive schedule—surely not. But can we first live in a way that instead delights in the fullness of life, that freely and unapologetically says “no” when it’s simply too much, that finds being needed and challenged and stretched a gift? Then we can, without hypocrisy, invite that suffering friend to a freer way of life.

So, I challenge you: The next time someone asks you how you are, don’t let that insipid ‘b’ word pass your lips. If nothing else, how about “Life is full!” with a twinkle in your eye and a smile that speaks of true, unfettered joy?